ABSTRACT
The social constraints encouraging us to marry are hard to see. We rarely think about them. Instead, we continue to think about marriage as a personal and private relationship. When people are asked why they got married, love is the number one reason given, with over 90 percent of married people saying that love is a very important reason for marriage. 1 But, as we will argue here, even love is not personal and private. Rather, it is the socially acceptable motive to give for marriage. It is part of the rules, expectations, and taken-forgranted assumptions of marriage.
