ABSTRACT
This chapter concerns men's thoughts and behaviour specifically regarding how they understand the rituals, representations and practicalities of dating relationships. It discusses the men's anxieties around dating women, such as whether the men suffered from 'approach anxiety'; how men perceived power relations between men and women who date; how they felt dating was represented in the media; monogamy; and more generally, how men conceptualised gender roles in dating. Of the men who waited for a woman to approach them, the reasons varied from being very shy, fearing an approach from an aggressive boyfriend, to a general appreciation of women's romantic advances. Victor was regularly nervous when younger but this changed when he joined the bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadomasochism (BDSM) sexual community. There was even less enthusiasm for monogamy and marriage within the pickup artists (PUA) community where sex has been separated from relationships and has become an end in itself.
