ABSTRACT

This chapter explores the connection between attachment and sexuality from earliest childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. Children learn everything through play, and juvenile sex play is a natural human developmental stage. Early imprinting associating negative feelings with sexuality occurs through nonverbal sensory communications by parents and other significant figures with the child. Sexually anxious parents can imprint their children to a biologically unnatural cultural or religious standard that can have lifelong implications. Many individuals and couples with sexual issues recall early experiences of being caught by a parent playing doctor with a playmate or masturbating and admit to lingering feelings of shame related to the incident. Teenage is a critical developmental stage for capacity to enjoy sexual intimacy as adults. Secure teens are more likely to enjoy sex and use condoms; anxious teens are likely to fear sexual rejection; avoidant teens fear closeness and are least likely to enjoy sex. Teenage challenges related to inexperience, lack of sexual information, and efficacy can be resolved in therapy. The chapter looks at the sexual desire spectrum—people are born with different levels of libido, from high to low libido. Asexuality is considered a valid sexual orientation. Some individuals display sexual fluidity, an ability to fall in love and enjoy sex with the same or opposite gender. Women have been shown to have greater erotic plasticity. Several therapy vignettes are offered as examples.