ABSTRACT
The quote speaks to the power of stigma that has been internalized. In Chapter 4, we explored internalized stigma, or the stigma that victims and survivors turn inward on themselves after hearing these negative messages from others. After experiencing stigma from so many other sources, the person begins to believe that these stigmatizing messages must be true. Also in Chapter 4, we discussed all of the consequences that can come from internalizing stigma, in particular the beliefs that the person doesn’t deserve help from others, that ending the relationship isn’t possible, or that others will judge and blame them for the abuse. Internalized stigma was the most common type of stigma that survivors in one of our research studies experienced, which tells us that it is a particularly important type of stigma to understand and eradicate. In this chapter, we explore how victims and survivors can overcome internalized stigma and know that they are not to blame or to be devalued because of their experiences with abuse. We cannot stress enough how important it is for victims and survivors to know that overcoming internalized stigma-and overcoming abuse itself-is possible. It sounds so simple, and to some it might seem obvious that victims and survivors should not be stigmatizing because of having faced abuse. But, as you’ve read throughout this book, the stigma surrounding abusive relationships is so pervasive that it can lead many victims and survivors to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. In this chapter, we’ll see that overcoming abuse and the stigma
that surrounds it is not only possible, but that victims and survivors can achieve positive, satisfying, and nurturing lives and relationships.
