ABSTRACT
Shame is an awful feeling arising from a belief that one is inherently and intrinsically defective. It is the sense that one is unlovable, deeply flawed, clumsy, stupid and, ultimately, that he/she has not made a mistake, but rather he/she is a mistake. Shame is a profoundly disturbing feeling state. Shame and guilt are both the same feeling state set up in the brain. This chapter presents a deep-seated link between shame and sexual addiction. For sex addicts, sexual behaviour is the escape mechanism used to deaden and avoid the feelings of shame. Many sex addicts find themselves stuck in a 'shame spiral'. The shame spiral consists of an event which triggers endemic shame, followed by repetitive rumination on the shame event. These feelings and thoughts create a downward spiral of distress. The healing of shame is central to the treatment of the sexually addicted. The first stage in this process is to develop an awareness of shame.
