ABSTRACT
Gentlemen, it's rather cold in here. Let me explain the situation. An hour ago, I called from the city to ask if everything had been prepared for the meeting, but no one answered. I immediately drove here and looked for the porter; he was neither to be found in his booth, in the basement near the furnace, nor in the auditorium. But I did find his wife there; she was sitting in the darkness on a stool near the door, her head bent, her face in her palms, her elbows resting on her knees. I asked her what had happened. Without moving, she said that her husband had left; one of their children had been run over while sledding. That is the reason that the rooms were unheated; I hope you will take this into account; what I have to say won't take long. Perhaps you could move your chairs a bit closer so I won't have to shout; I don't want to make a political speech; I merely want to report on the financial situation of the company. I'm sorry that the windowpanes have been broken by the storm; before your arrival the porter's wife and I covered the spaces with plastic bags to keep the snow from coming in; but as you can see, we weren't entirely successful. Don't let the creaking distract you as I read a statement on the net-balance of this business year; there is no reason for concern; I can assure you that the executive board is unimpeachable. Please move closer if you have difficulty understanding me. I regret having to welcome you here under such circumstances; they are due to the child having sledded in front of the oncoming car; the porter's wife, as she was fastening a plastic bag to the window with string, told me that her husband, who had gone down to the basement for coal, howled; she was arranging chairs in the auditorium for the meeting; suddenly she heard her husband howl from below; she stood riveted to the spot where she heard the scream, she told me, for a long time; she listened. Then her husband appeared at the door, still holding a bucket of coal in his hand; in a low voice, his eyes averted, he told her what had happened; their second child had brought him the news. Since the absent porter has the list of names, I will welcome you as a group and not individually. I said, as a group and not individually. That's the wind. I thank you for coming in the cold through the snow to this meeting; it's quite a walk from the valley. Perhaps you thought you would enter a room where the ice on the windows would have melted and where you could sit by the stove and warm yourselves; but you are now sitting at the table in your overcoats, and the snow which fell from your shoes as you came in and took your seats hasn't even melted; there is no stove in the room, only a black hole in the wall where the stove pipe had been when this room and this empty house were still inhabited. I thank you for coming in spite of all the difficulties: I thank you and welcome you. I welcome you. I welcome you. Let me first welcome the gentleman sitting near the door where the farmer's wife had sat in the darkness; I welcome the gentleman and thank him. Perhaps when he received the registered letter a few days ago informing him of this meeting at which the accounts of the
executive board are to be reviewed, he didn't think it imperative to attend since it was below freezing and snow had been falling for days; but then he thought that perhaps everything wasn't as it should be in the company; there was a suspicious creaking in its structure. I said that perhaps he thought that its structure was creaking. No, the structure of the company is not creaking. Pardon me, but what a storm this is. Then he got into his car and drove from the city in the cold through the snow to this meeting. He had to park the car in the village below; a narrow path is the only way up to the house. He sat in the tavern reading the financial section of the paper until it was time to leave for the meeting. In the woods he met another gentleman who was also on his way to the meeting; the latter was leaning on a wayside crucifix holding his hat in one hand and a frozen apple in the other; as he ate the frozen apple snow fell on his forehead and hair. I said that snow fell on his forehead and hair as he ate the frozen apple. As the first gentleman approached him, they greeted each other; then the second gentleman put his hand in his overcoat pocket and brought out a second frozen apple which he gave to the first gentleman; at that the storm blew his hat off and they both laughed. They both laughed. Please move a little closer, otherwise you won't be able to understand me. The structure is creaking. It's not the structure of the company that's creaking; you will all receive the dividends that are due to you in this business year; I want to inform you of that in this unusual meeting. As the two men trudged through the snow in the storm, the limousine with the others arrived. They stood in their heavy black overcoats next to the car, using it as protection against the wind, and tried to make up their minds whether or not to climb up to the dilapidated farmhouse. I said: farmhouse. Although they had their doubts about making the climb, one of them persuaded the others to overcome their fears and reminded them of the grave situation that the company was in; after reading the financial news in the tavern, they left and trudged through the snow to this meeting; they were sincerely concerned about the company. First their feet made clean holes in the snow; but eventually they dragged their feet, making a path in the snow. They stopped once and looked back at the valley: flakes floated down on them from the black heavens; they saw two sets of tracks leading down, one set was faint and almost covered with snow; they had been made by the farmer when he had run down after hearing of the child's accident; he often fell on his face without trying to break his fall with his hands. He often found himself buried in the icy snow; he often dug himself in with his trembling fingers; when he fell, he often licked the bitter flakes with his tongue; he often howled under the stormy skies. I repeat: the farmer often howled under the stormy skies. They also saw the tracks that led to the dilapidated farmhouse, the tracks of the two gentlemen who discussed the situation of the company and suggested that the capital should be increased by distributing new stocks and ate glassy pieces of the green apples as they trudged through the storm. Finally, after night had fallen, the rest of you arrived and entered this room; the first two gentlemen were sitting here, just as they are now, with their notebooks on their knees holding pencils in their hands; they were waiting for me to deliver my welcoming address so that they could take notes. I welcome all of you and thank you for coming; I welcome the gentlemen who eat the frozen apples as they write my words down; I welcome the other four gentlemen who ran over the farmer's son with their limousine as they sped over the icy street to the village: the farmer's son, the porter's son. The structure is creaking again; the roof is creaking, the creaking being caused by the heavy weight of snow; it isn't the structure of the company that's creaking. The balance is active; there are no irregularities in the business management. The beams are bending from the pressure on the roof, the structure is creaking. I would like to thank the farmer for all that he has done for this meeting: for the last number of days he climbed up to the house from the farmstead, carrying a ladder so that he could paint this room; he carried the ladder on his shoulder, holding it in the crook of his arm; in his left hand he carried a pail with whitewash with a broken broom in it. With this he painted the walls
after his children had removed the wood that lay piled up to the window sills and had carted it to the farmyard on their sleds. Carrying the pail in one hand and holding the ladder with the other, the farmer walked up to the house to prepare this room for the meeting; the children ran shouting in front of him carrying their sleds, their scarves fluttering in the wind. We can still see the overlapping white rings on the floor where the farmer placed the pail when he climbed the ladder to paint the walls; the black rings near the door where the powdery snow is now coming in are from the pot with the boiling soup which the farmer's wife brought at mealtimes: the three of them sat or squatted on the ground and dipped their spoons in; the farmer's wife stood at the door, her arms crossed over her apron and sang folk songs about snow; the children slurped the soup and rhythmically swayed their heads. Please don't worry: there is no reason for concern about the company; the creaking you hear is in the structure of the roof and is being caused by the weight of the snow which is causing the structure to creak. I thank the farmer for everything he has done; I would address him personally if he weren't down in the village with the child that has been run over. I would also address the farmer's wife and I would thank her, and I would address the children and give them my heart-felt thanks for everything that they have done for this meeting. I thank all of you and welcome you. I beg you to remain seated so that your movement doesn't cause the structure to collapse. What a storm! I said: What a storm. Please remain seated. I thank you for coming and welcome you. It is only the structure that is creaking; I said that you should remain seated so that the roof doesn't cave in. I said that I said that I said that you should remain seated. I said that I said that I said that you should remain seated! I welcome you! I said that I said that I welcome you. I welcome all of you who have come here to be made an end of! I welcome you. I welcome you.
