ABSTRACT
When we are able to analyse recovery rates in different groups of men, we find that, if we have ten men in a group, two will recover almost perfectly, six will get about three-quarters success and two men will not recover at all. In working with men over 20 years, I am never sure what makes it relatively easy for some men to withdraw from unwanted behaviours and the reason some men find it so difficult. There are considerations that might bear upon this question – perhaps the length of time that the hypersexual behaviour has been in place. Another consideration would be the early onset of the behaviour. Sometimes these behaviours are in place before adolescence. Another consideration might be the frequency of use; yet another, the powerful nature of the escaped negative feeling state. I have sometimes linked unsuccessful recovery to the levels of shame, and sometimes to the levels of abuse experienced in the family of origin. It could be connected to different levels of self-control that vary from person to person. While ambivalence is common, some are more ambivalent than others. One factor that might affect a recovery outcome might well be the importance placed on the intimate relationship, or some other value held to be more important than sex – for example, a deeply held spirituality. I am not sure that any one answer has emerged from the literature or from outcome studies. So that treatment can be tailored appropriately, more research needs to be done to differentiate the factors that cause some people to recover easily and others with difficulty.
