ABSTRACT
Rules of living are often expressed in rigid should and must statements such as 'I should never let anyone down' or 'I must always be strong'. One way to change these rules disobeying to decide if the implicit and unpleasant 'or else' attached to the rule realized. For example, a client's rule was: 'I should put in consistently long hours at the office or else my colleagues see me as a slacker and I'll lose their respect'. Revising rigid rules are making them reasonable and flexible. The client's new rule was: 'I don't mind working long hours when it's necessary, but not to try influence the way my colleagues see me. As well as reasonable and flexible, new rules are often lengthy and elaborate in stark contrast to the all-or-nothing quality of the old rules: 'this reflects based on an adult's ability to understand how the world works at a deeper level and variations circumstances.
