ABSTRACT
The words of Freely and Pyper in Pandora’s Clock as they explored the puzzling gap between the way people talk about family planning in public and the stories to which they admit in private:
If starting a family means putting your career on hold, cementing your relationship, permanently changing your way of life, in other words turning your world upside down, how does anyone decide the right time, or is risk-taking behaviour a way that many couples get around to having their family? [192]
Decision-making about parenthood is complex. A Scottish study used semi-structured interviews with 13 women and 12 men to explore intentions towards parenthood. The findings were comparable to other similar studies. Decision-making about fertility and parenthood is a process rather than a one-off event, but parenthood is often assumed as a natural course of events. Discussions are a two-stage process: early in the relationship there may be discussion about whether or not each partner wants children, then later the issue of the timing of conception is raised. The first stage of exploring views on parenthood is most important for individuals with strong views because persistent disagreements can lead to relationship breakdown. Individuals who are more highly educated and/or from more affluent backgrounds are more likely to delay parenthood to fulfil educational, travel or leisure pursuits. Marriage is generally not seen as a strict prerequisite for parenthood although many still express a preference for marriage before children. Men are likely to voice concerns about being older fathers in relation to levels of physical activity and fitness. [83]
For the majority of couples, it takes only two things to make a baby: time and opportunities for sex. Many women have unrealistic expectations of a normal time to pregnancy (and may feel pressured by age). The NICE guidelines suggest that
People who are concerned about their fertility should be informed that over 80% of couples in the general population will conceive within 1 year if the woman is aged under 40 and they do not use contraception and have regular intercourse (every 2 to 3 days). Of those who do not conceive in the first year, about half will do so in the second year (CPR over 90%). [428]
These statistics should be reassuring, but fertility delays are common.
