ABSTRACT
In many ways, because it is about being rather than doing and therefore the ‘skills’ element to be learned and practised is minimal or non-existent, developing congruence appears to be difficult particularly to therapists in the early stages of their career. Indeed, becoming acquainted with the flow of internal experience and how that matches outward expression is a demanding task. However, because congruence is about the relation between experience and its symbolisation it is really a matter of self-awareness and self-acceptance. Developing congruence is about learning to acknowledge all your internal responses without distorting or denying them – in the context of the practice of person-centred therapy perhaps especially those you have in response to your client regardless of whether or not they fit your preconception as to what it means to be a good therapist. So, it is at least partly about learning to listen for and become aware of all the thoughts and feelings you have in relationship with a client. As Tolan (2003: 45) points out, the second thing is to learn when and how to communicate that awareness to your client.
