chapter  7
WithButch Losey
Pages 36

A good majority of couples states that communication is the primary presenting issue when starting therapy. P. L. Sheras and P. R. Koch-Sheras make the argument that communication strategies are taught and utilized before they can be maximally therapeutic. From their perspective, the act of commitment has to precede the use of communication training. The chapter discusses the three levels of communication, which are non-verbal, para-verbal, and verbal communication. Emotions play a key part of a couple's communication and can be expressed either verbally, non-verbally, and para-verbally. The pathway of underlying message directs the listener to intentionally key in on the expression in all three domains of communication and state any thoughts and feelings that may be just out of awareness of the sender. The focus of destructive criticism is any challenge to one's personality, morality, competency, or ability and the motives of the critical partner can be to punish, get revenge, or shame.