ABSTRACT
This chapter examines how the process of 'adoption' by a carer is opposite to the process in which family members are trying to take leave of the person with dementia. It considers how carers can recognise the signals of attachment and how they can work with them constructively. While some carers can work with persons with dementia without becoming emotionally involved, in most cases an emotional bond exists. In view of the inevitable grieving process that will occur, it is important that carers recognise this bond of attachment and are able to give a name to it. Having attachment, without giving your 'closeness' to another, is harder to conceive of. Adoption means starting to relate to the person 'as though' you have become 'family'. The adoption process for the carer runs in parallel to the 'taking leave' process for the family. One psychological advantage of developing a routine is that the carer no longer becomes emotionally 'strangled' by a situation.
