ABSTRACT
Born into a dysfunctional family dominated by strong individualistic women, I received many messages about gender inequity and the roles of women. My paternal grandmother, twice widowed, had supported herself selling lingerie. As a heavily made-up anorexic she presented the image, even into her 70s, of a successful business woman. Personally seductive, she spoke to men and giggled in their presence. Her gifts to my mother were flimsy items, lacier than my mother’s tastes, yet a constant reminder that an athletic woman who wore pants and no makeup was “doomed” to motherhood or nursing/teaching/social work. My grandmother’s material gifts to me — my choice at an elegant New York City toy store — underscored the economic triumphs earned by her wiles.
