ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author recognizes, however, that in the larger world there are random events that impact the lives of individuals over which there is no possibility of control. She believes that one’s ability to create meaning in the face of chaotic events is enhanced by a strong primary bond with another human being; thus, being in a healthy couple’s relationship creates something of a buffer against the stress of the outer world. Couples who adopt a “both/and” world view are more likely to respect each other’s differences and they have increased options for conflict resolution. Beginning with loving ourselves, we learn more about loving as a couple. The author believes that the hope for making meaning out of our dyadic wars is to engage in an infinite game, in which the goal is to continue the play. The reality of the dynamic couples’ relationship is not dependence or independence, but interdependence.
