ABSTRACT
This chapter approaches relationships from primarily a systemic-psychodynamic framework in that psychoanalytic interpretations and assumptions are integrated into a basic systemic orientation. It focuses on prerelationship developmental tasks, relationship developmental tasks, role of love and intimacy in emotional maturity, and traps and pitfalls commonly encountered by couples, as illustrated by activation of protective, defensive mechanisms. The chapter explores the psychological developmental tasks necessary for the formation of a healthy, stable relationship. More secure individuals, who have come into the marriage after completing the basic developmental tasks, are able to recognize and share fears, insecurities, and limitations, which allows for a reaching out in times of need, stress, or problems. Gradually, the excitement of the relationship is replaced by every day concerns and tasks which are important to the ongoing maintenance of the relationship. As the relationship progresses and each person’s idiosyncrasies, problems, and limitations become apparent, adjustments to each spouse’s disappointed expectations become vital to sustaining and deepening loving feelings.
