ABSTRACT
As that quote suggests, this chapter is riddled with a paradox. It is the paradox of absence. Specifically, how can an absence—in this case the absence of affect and its relation to the body, which has been described by such authors as Krystal (1988) and McDougall (1989)—be known, experienced and integrated in the analytic situation? The analytic case that I present here suggests that the lived body—the body as it is subjectively experienced—can become a touchstone for the recognition of the presence of an important absence in oneself. The immediacy of suddenly sensing one’s own breathing, movement, and voice can be the vehicle that brings one centrally into the present, the here-and-now. Paradoxically, such moments straddle the boundary between presence and absence. For while one does achieve a broader, more encompassing perception of one’s internal and external situation in these moments, they also reveal that one has thus far been absent, disconnected, and unaware of important aspects of self. When such moments occur in the presence of a patient whom one is analyzing, they provide richly unique information and opportunities for the analytic process.
