chapter  9
Waiting
Pages 10

Siblings who were preadolescent at the time of the loss rarely cried during the interview when talking about their sibling. Although sad feelings related to the lost sibling were quickly denied, there was frequent evidence of displacement of intense feelings from the sibling to more neutral situ­ ations. Dennie, 10 years old at the death, said:"I get sad about the stupidest things. I'm very sensitive to McDonald commercials and Pepsi commer­ cials, and AT&T commercials kill me." Some individuals are only able to get in touch with their sadness when they are drinking. In fact, much of the alcohol use encountered may be not only an attempt to modulate anxiety states but to shift to a state in which true feelings may be experienced. Unfortunately, this did not allow feelings to be mastered and worked through. Peter, whose sister died from CF when he was 12 years old and whose best friend was killed in an automobile accident, tried to understand his own mood swings:

Some siblings have a strange sense that they are blocked in some way, but they do not know what to do about it. The following example is of a young woman who was 11 years old when her older sister died.