chapter  12
24 Pages

Rewriting Relationship Memories: The Effects of Courtship and Wedding Scripts

In this section of the volume, authors examine the connections between knowledge structures and relationship development. However, in this chapter we propose that relationships do not simply unfold over time, quiet and unobserved. They are also perceived to have developed by the people in those relationships; they may seem to have developed, changed, or remained steady over time, depending on the perceptions and memories held by the individuals involved. Looking back from the present, people in close relationships can reexamine the high and low points, the ebbs and flows through which every relationship travels. Individuals may think about how the relationship has changed over time, or they may notice how the basic foundations of their current relationship were laid down in their earliest meetings. Such remembering may be public or private, formal or informal. A woman, seeing her younger sister's latest boyfriend, fleetingly recollects the shyness ofher own boyfriend on their first few dates; at their golden wedding anniversary, a couple regales their children with a detailed story of how they first met.