ABSTRACT
Ellen found out about Alfred's gender variance little-by-little. At first she thought her spouse was just a cross-dresser. Eventually, Alfred told her that he would like to start hormones and eventually have sex reassignment surgery. She was devastated. Ellen mentions her resentment of Alfred having a therapist and support group and she having neither. Ellen's depression and her negative feelings about the extent of her spouse's feminine presentation led to an extreme diminution of their sex life. While Alfred initially told Ellen that she was just a cross-dresser. Finally, Alfred began to modify her appearance in more drastic ways, and then admitted that she wanted hormonal treatment and sex reassignment surgery. Ellen's story suggests that her spouse did not include her in the process of decision making at all. Ellen is seeking education about marriage and transition, and despite her obvious ambivalence and the way she has been left out of the process, she wants to keep their marriage intact.
