ABSTRACT
Sam and Dianes pattern of marital distress followed the less common pattern of the husband feeling disregarded, angry, and critical. The therapist engaged in empathic probing to elicit their concerns about the relationship. The couple described their arguments over the condition of the house. Sam was visibly angry at Diane during the session and Diane appeared intimidated and defensive. The therapist used the opportunity to reiterate the pattern and suggested that she could control his anger by doing what was important to him, the housework. The therapist reiterated the basic message: When you take your partner seriously, and respond to what is important to your partner, then the relationship will be better between you. In subsequent sessions Sam and Diane continued to deal with the problems discussed previously. Housework, Dianes spending, triangular issues, and Sam's anger all began to lose their power to upset them. They began to spontaneously engage in more companionship activities and their sexual relationship improved.
