ABSTRACT
Direct communication occurs when spouses respond in the immediacy of the moment with what is on their minds and it requires spontaneity. It also requires a belief that it is safe to say what is on ones mind. Spouses who communicate directly expect that their partner's response will be accepting. The obstacles to more direct communication are often fear based. Fear of the partner's anger, fear of an argument, and fear of losing control often block attempts at more direct communication. Attempting to depersonalize the partner's anger is also useful in encouraging more direct communication. When the therapist encourages them to discuss a seemingly simple issue at home, they procrastinate. The therapist follows up by processing successes in direct communication and looking for payoffs, and also by processing failures in direct communication and probing for obstacles. Patience and perseverance are crucial. When avoidance of direct communication is based on fear, progress is often slow and difficult.
