chapter  15
10 Pages

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Few things are more difficult for the survivor to understand than the notion of "good" boundaries. Even after dealing with my own incest issues for over forty years, I still struggle with boundary issues. The problem that most survivors have is that from the moment that they were sexually abused, they received a lesson in the "subjectiveness" of boundaries and the rationalization of the violation of those same boundaries. Since children base most of what they learn and how they see the world on the behaviors in their family of origin, survivors begin relationships one step behind those who come from families where boundaries are clear and healthy for all members of the family.