ABSTRACT
If you want to learn something about how boys become men, ask adult males to describe childhood messages they received about masculinity. In our experience, men have little difficulty in recalling at least a few stories of defining moments when they learned what “being a man” means. These defining moments are an important part of learning complex social and emotional ways of being. They contain messages that guide males through later life events-telling them what to do, how to act, what is expected of them, and what they should expect of others. The following stories are examples of childhood episodes that highlight the powerful influence of masculine socialization on a boy’s behavior and his sense of self. Listen for the messages embedded in the following childhood experiences:
When my grandfather would visit, he would grab me and squeeze me in his arms until it hurt. I would scream and cry-that seemed to make it worse, because everyone would laugh at me.
