When I was twenty-four years old I traveled to Ireland with my then boyfriend, Allan, who was thirty-six years old. The following Christmas I came out to my family. Although my parents were surprised to learn that I was gay, my sister had suspected. She recalled seeing the photograph of Allan and me near a ruined abbey in Ireland. Our age difference stirred her suspicion; she wondered why I would be traveling with an older man. What was the nature of our relationship?