ABSTRACT
Traumatic narcissism, as I have sought to define it throughout this book, can be understood most simply as the action of subjugation. In the traumatizing narcissist's relational system, the narcissist fortifies himself by diminishing the other. The other is then conquered, controlled, or enslaved at worst—and exploited. Sadly, this happens often enough in relationships that are presented as therapeutic. I have heard story after story, from analysands, supervisees, colleagues, and friends, of how a therapist, from any of the various schools of psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, was able to persuade her patient of her infinite wisdom, and to go on to dictate and control all the significant choices and decisions in a patient's life, sometimes for decades. I have learned of people told to marry or divorce certain people; to cut off all contact with family members, permanently; to assuage and comply with abusers; to dress differently, down to what kind of earrings and bras to wear; to make donations and investments and expect to never see a return … The list is quite long and horrible. I have heard these stories told about therapists in remote rural and also in less remote suburban areas. I've heard hair-raising stories of control and exploitation about therapists in world-class cities, therapists who hold high academic or professional positions, or have well-known names through publications and media appearances.
