chapter  11
9 Pages

What Makes a Difficult Case Difficult?

This chapter discusses apology, repair and forgiveness in intimate relationships. All couples experience conflict around the feeling of betrayal at times. Some betrayals are the small, every day misdemeanors that come from misattunement. Conflict is normal in intimate relationships, and useful when it leads to honest conversation about its cause, how each person experienced it, and how it can be resolved. Couples usually engage in therapy with the hope that ending their conflict will prevent any more feelings of injury. They may have tried to bypass negative feelings and recapture intimacy by moving on without repair, which left their protectors on guard and added the weight of current injury to the baggage already carried by their parts who were burdened and exiled in childhood. To be present and self-accepting is to be available and open hearted, inside and out. From there, Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) therapists can help couples do the same with themselves and each other.