chapter  1
10 Pages

The Origins of Intimacy from the Inside Out Therapy

This chapter illustrates a first therapy session in which the therapist gets a feel for the couple, assesses their level of differentiation, addresses their concerns about therapy as well as their hopes and goals, introduces them to the treatment model and offers them a view of the possibilities. It also elicits the information that the therapist will want from them, including details about their early relationship, family of origin, way of fighting and apologizing, ranging from life's normal stressors to bad luck or bad behavior. In Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO), the therapist is active in the essential project of helping the couple to attain optimal arousal, which at times means doing whatever one can to prevent harm. Therapists naturally have their own style and way of starting with clients. Each therapeutic venture launches a unique mini-system of couple and therapist in which all participants will inevitably develop a style of interaction and mutual accommodation.