ABSTRACT
Several years ago a friend told me the story of Anna and Kate, whom she knew from church.1 A group of teenagers from their church in Belgium were on holiday in an African country. On their way from one place to another the driver lost control of the car. The car crashed and two teenagers died in that terrible accident. Back home they had a funeral and the funeral service expressed the Christian message of hope. But no words of pain. No words of mourning. No words of grief. Two weeks later my friend saw Anna and Kate after a church service. These girls had lost two of their friends. My friend looked at Anna and Kate and said: “You mourn, don’t you?” All of a sudden the girls burst out in tears and my friend just embraced them and let them cry. That evening Kate’s mother rang my friend and said: “Thank you.” Rather surprised, my friend answered: “Why do you say thanks?” Kate’s mother replied: “Because no one has given my daughter the opportunity to express her grief. You are the rst one.”
