ABSTRACT
When parents and adolescents describe their concerns, problems, and situations they will of ten use descriptions that close down the possibilities for change. They will use words or phrases such as “always,” “nobody,” “never,” “all the time,” etc. These descriptions imply that things cannot change and are pervasive. Many adolescents are sensitive to criticism and may hear “al ways” or “never” even when those words are not spoken. If a teen feels that positive behaviors are not noticed, there may be li ttle incentive to change behaviors described as negative. If on one hand a therapist uses pure reflection with such concerns (e.g., “Things are always bad,” “He’ll never change,” etc.) then the descriptions is in effect being reinforced. On the other hand, if a therapist takes too big a leap in challenging a parent’s or adolescent’s description (e.g., “Things are always bad?” “He’ll never change?” etc.) then the parent or adolescent may feel invalidated and that the therapist doesn’t understand the seriousness of the concern.
