ABSTRACT
Codependency is the root of addiction, caused by growing up in a dysfunctional, un-nurturing, strict, abusive family dynamic. We grow up conforming to our parent’s needs, while our needs are not being met. Codependence is like being a child in an adult body, immature and frightened with low self-esteem, unable to set boundaries and unable to flourish in their own reality. Many clients come to treatment centers saying, “I don’t know who I am.” They have been active in self-defeating patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving in an age inappropriate way. As a result people who are codependent do not know how to relate functionally with themselves. When our caregivers are insecure, shaming and dysfunction, we assume this is normal behavior and we blame ourselves and continue this belief system as adults. This chapter explores the need to set boundaries and uses experiential exercises to bring it to life. It also teaches the DBT skill of objective effectiveness; how to be more assertive and tell people how you feel rather than attacking.
