ABSTRACT
According to Phillip Flores’ work on addiction as an attachment disorder, “drugs are literally hijacking parts of the brain that nature put there so we could connect with other humans.” It’s everywhere including offline and online media. Young people are being told that being with one person for life is limiting. Go out my son and sow your oats they are told and have sex with as many people as possible, so you’ll be able to enjoy new experiences every day. Our children on their “smart” phones are only a few clicks away from the worst types of pornography, violence, torture, objectification of both men and women and worlds of fantasy and distraction. While this may seem enticing and exciting to young people, it ignores the fact that they are engaging in intensity rather than intimacy and this destroys the bonds of connection that are lasting, meaningful and fulfilling. Intimacy is all about safety and connectedness, causing the relationship to grow without being frightened, threatened or upset. Connectedness is being in tune with the other person; common grounds of comfort being with one another and enough differences to keep things interesting.
