ABSTRACT
Mary was now arrived at the twenty-fourth year of her age. Her project, five years before, had been personal independence; it was now usefulness. In the solitude of attendance on her sister’s illness, [and during the subsequent convalescence,]59 she had had leisure to ruminate upon [purposes of this sort.]60 Her expanded mind led her to seek something more arduous than the mere removal of personal vexations; / and the sensibility of her heart would not suffer her to rest in solitary gratifications. The derangement of her father’s affairs daily became more and more glaring; and a small independent provision made for herself and her sisters, appears to have been sacrificed in the wreck. For ten years, from 1782 to 1792, she may be said to have been, in a great degree, the victim of a desire to promote the benefit of others. She did not foresee the severe disappointment with which an exclusive purpose of this sort is pregnant; she was inexperienced enough to lay a stress upon the consequent gratitude of those she benefited; and she did not sufficiently consider that, in proportion as we involve ourselves in the interests and society of others, we acquire a more exquisite sense of their defects, and are / tormented with their untractableness and folly[ ]61
