ABSTRACT
The traditional mantra for male sexuality has been frequent and perfect intercourse performance. The extreme of this is that "A real man is willing and able to have sex with any woman, any time, any place." Intimacy is very different from the Hollywood romantic love idealization or the new image of ideal sex with one's soul mate. The concept of non-demand pleasuring is the component most at odds with traditional male sexual socialization. Affection and sensuality have been viewed as the woman's domain, something he does for her. When men think of eroticism, the image is of porn magazines and videos. This approach to eroticism emphasizes raw and wild sex, carnal feelings, powerful erections, and perfect performance. The vital component is a sense of genuine satisfaction. In traditional sex therapy the focus has been on performance—erection, intercourse, and orgasm. Satisfaction is the most challenging component to honestly assess.
