ABSTRACT
Jealousy was mentioned by mothers of every social class; and where it was mentioned it invariably took first place in the mother's assessment of differences in upbringing. The striking characteristic of these discussions was the bitterness with which old memories were revived. Often it was clear that these traumatic experiences informed the mother's whole attitude towards her children; sometimes her very conscious decision to avoid jealousy on their part seemed to have become her chief principle in bringing them up. Lorry-driver's wife:
'My children are much happier than I was. I was always the odd one out; and that's a little-you know-wall between my mam and me, you know, that I won't let one have anything without the other does-within reason-because I don't want any of them to feel left out, you know; I won't have it-1'11 stop her coming if she does favour. She favours my oldest one, you see, we've had one or two rows about it, you know; I won't have it, you see. But you can't say anything without them taking offence; but I'll break with her completely rather than have that.' Office manager's wife:
'No. My children are being brought up much different. Well, for a start, my daughter's fourteen, and she was thirteen when David was born. Well, I was nine when my sister was born; and from my mother getting up out of bed after her confinement, I was made to push that baby around. I was only nine, I don't think I was really old enough to do, but I used to-I'd come home from school and I'd have to take that baby out from quarter past four till the six o'clock feed; and Sundays push her round for miles; and when she was older, say two or three, and she had a lot of little toys on wheels, I used to have to crawl up and down playing with her when I wanted to be with my own friends: well, I'd never expect that of Vanessa. And you know,
even today, there's no love lost between us. And even when I was courting, you know, I had to have my boy-friend indoors so I could keep my eye on Margaret. I mean, she was eleven and I was twenty, and I'd just got my first boy-friend. I resent it to this day-my goodness, I resent it! I do. Because I don't think it was at all right. All at once she was born, and that was itclean your own shoes from now on, and take yourself up to bed. My dad used to carry me up to bed every night, and he used to always play a game with me-he used to tuck me up, and then I had a lot of these stuffed toys, animals, and he used to stand at the door and throw them round-and that was a game we had, until my sister was born. Well, that just stopped. Well, that's not right, is it? But it's a good eye-opener, my goodness it is, it teaches you things.'
