ABSTRACT
As we have seen, toddlers and older children locked in rage have an important thing in common: they cannot regulate their over-intense feelings. They need a grown-up to regulate them, by soothing, calming, containing, and finding the words for their feeling states that they are unable to find themselves: ‘You are so cross because Gemma took your pencil. I can see how painful it was for you.’ When a wild child is able to let you regulate his behaviour by helping him to think about his feelings, rather than just discharging them, it is a great advance in terms of brain-wiring. You will be enabling him to lay down those vital brain pathways, which will mean that in time the higher brain will be able to calm and inhibit the lower brain’s aggressive impulses.
