ABSTRACT
A baby is born into a world of relative giants. When the dance goes well between a parent and baby, the baby soon learns that the parent can comfort him and help him when he is very distressed. His parent becomes a shelter from things the baby finds frightening in the outer world. In contrast, when the dance does not go well, the baby learns that the parent herself is a source of anxiety or stress. Here are some of the ways in which this early dance can go wrong – often with very well meaning parents:
In-depth observations of parent and baby interactions (Murray, 1988; Beebe & Lachman, 1988) show that when a baby is too aroused by interactions with his parent, his excitement begins to feel uncomfortable, so he turns away from the parent in order to regulate his arousal level. Some parents do not understand or notice the disengagement, so they try to get the infant to reengage. The infant turns away, but sometimes the parent then pursues him all the more. Some parents persist yet further in wanting the baby to interact with them – so much so that the baby eventually ‘plays possum’ to stop the contact between him and his parent. This interaction can happen as early as two weeks old. Beebe and Lachman call this interaction between mother and baby ‘Chase and Dodge’.
