ABSTRACT
Objective Primitive fight /flight mechanisms deep in the old mammalian and reptilian part of our brains can be strongly activated in personal relationships. Sometimes, out of the blue, a person with a fear of closeness and/or rejection says, ‘I am leaving’. They can justify this to themselves with many excellent reasons as to why they need to go, whilst being oblivious to the fact that they are in the grip of a very primitive flight mechanism. Such fears are usually fuelled by memories of past experiences where someone has been intrusive, frightening or deeply hurtful in some way. When a person is haunted by their past in this way and has not addressed or worked through their emotional baggage, suddenly rushing away can feel like the only option. In that moment, staying feels impossible.
