ABSTRACT
A number of years ago, I was describing at my research group meeting some of my ideas about controlling parenting. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a befuddled look on one of my students’ faces. When I asked Juliet what was confusing, she explained that her parents, who grew up in China, did many of the things that would seem to be considered controlling. For example, she was not allowed to go to sleepovers even though all the girls in her class were going. “You don't sleep at somebody else's house,” she was told the first time she asked. She never asked again. When the family moved to Massachusetts, Juliet wanted to buy clothes like the other girls. Her parents said no. “I looked different from everybody,” she said. “The interesting thing, though, is that I never questioned my parents’ actions. I knew they loved me. I knew that the family came first. I would never have thought of their actions as infringing on my autonomy.”
