ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author focuses on the his analysis of 55 autobiographies from a sample of 350 that were collected in the writing competition "Hurray for man!" held during 1993 by the Council for Equality in the Ministry of Social Affairs and Health. He suggests that participants in an autobiographical competition will naturally be self-absorbed losers - healthy and lucky Finnish men do not bother entering them, because they are busy playing ice hockey or repairing their houses. The ethos of achievement is the dominant cultural model, which makes diffuse shame manageable. Shame affects one's whole self, whereas guilt is connected just with certain deeds or thoughts. According to classical psychoanalysis the mother should affirm a boy's basic trust and the father should guarantee his access to the world outside dyadic relations. Mother-bound boys, who feel ashamed of their fathers, are sensitive to others' attitudes and become aware of themselves as separate individuals only when something is wrong.
