ABSTRACT
Working with difficult people is addressed in Chapter 13. However there is one category of “difficult” that goes so far outside the norm that it warrants a separate chapter: the “high-conflict” personality.
“High conflict” has a particular meaning: it refers to someone who is so fixated by his (or her) “world view” on any subject and so intransigent that he simply cannot brook any competing view – but with the complication that his logic may have a false or questionable premise resulting in a distorted result. Conflict and disputes are common. The energy and resource demanded by this kind of personality is huge.
Professionals need to understand how to identify high-conflict personalities, who may initially come over as charming and reasonable, and what causes this kind of personality, which may commonly arise from certain attachment problems and/or personality disorders or traits.
Importantly, professionals need to have strategies specifically designed to cope with such personalities, because, as Professor Peter Fonagy cautions, “if you use the same strategies as you use normally when you work with an individual that comes from this group you are likely to create more problems than you solve”.
