ABSTRACT
The recurrent patterns in their relationship arose in part from Gunnar’s self-preoccupation, his extreme arrogance and gnawing self-doubt, and his unpredictable alternation between elation and bleak, even suicidal depression; and in part from Alva’s efforts to be whoever he seemed to want her to be at the moment, in which she often lost herself and then withdrew temporarily to recover her equilibrium. Alva came to realize that, although she could not heal Gunnar, her caring presence and wise counsel made a difference. Neither of them saw as clearly then as Alva did later that both were struggling with conventional ideas about gender: that men are by nature rational, capable of self-control and abstract thought, and thus should occupy a dominant position in the family and society; that women are by nature emotional, irrational, and weak, and thus should be subordinated to, be protected by, and above all serve men. To the extent that Gunnar and Alva carved out their own ways of relating to one another, they were able to do so because they thought of themselves as “exceptional” people who need not be bound by conventional social mores.
