ABSTRACT
It was thy Majefty that kept me from doubtiaa ot thy being ; it was thy fatherly goodnes that tlupificd the powers of my Sriuland Body with that heavy dul. nefs, not beaufe l:hou wouldeft punifu me for my fins. no ! thou didft teach me to know, that my gracious Saviour had already indor'd the punilhm~lt thatmy :fins dcferv'd ; My Lord, thy Majefty did notlay that d.:jc8ionon me proceedirlgfrom thy juftice, but thy mercy. For my God ! I mnft c011fefs to thee, that which thou then didft lptow, for then I did love the world,more then I loved iliee,and becaufe thou wouldft bave me love the pleafure that fuould 11ever end ; tbqu madfi me to take no pleafure in thefe delight5 , which DeVer end but in forrow. That heavinefs was then l bitrer piH ta purge my Soul from the grotfe hu· moers:ofearthly love, tha afterwards 1he may be madt more fh and apt to receive the fweer bliffe of thine e· ver!afting love. This thy love to me kept me from faJ. ling into the miferable pit of defpaire; thy loving kind• ndfe it was rhat moved thee to let that word of conifort with which thou fuftaineft thy fervantSr. Pmd, found ever in my ears, Thauhy grace tbould be fufficient f(ll' me. without which grace 'of thine,l not having fufficicnt ftrcngth ofmy fclf,[hou:ldhave fallen into the gulf ofe·
~erlafiingmifcry. Thy love likewife kept mt conftam to thee and thy fervice;l!c kept me from doing or faying that in my difpairing thoughts, that had not been fit for thy fervant co doe or utter. Thy unwearied love and great.wifdome it was that fent thofe tryals and rempta• t1onsto me in my youth,that thou mighreft fanltifie my yomli to thy fervice, and make me careleffe of thofe pleafurcs, that my young years were too much addiltcd to. ·
For if rl1y Majd~y hadfuffered me to bave'run on, td h~ve raken plearure in thofe vanitic:sJ till I.had bcett in•
E;3,{\lffcwt•
( (4cred~ndlclfetorment,feeingtb'eybad(o)oftlyde,: f.ervedir;rarbertb~nyourrighteousLordfhouldhave C!yed.··• ·BurwhethermySOul;inthedee'pconfiderariono(
~on:grac1ouadymg;Sad,mrefpc:ltofthytormen~ ~blefled~viour;yetpl~afanrin.refpelto~dieunex· prelfableltbeny,andendlef•happtncfs,·~~thlchbythy l'owerfolldying.~eobrain'd.·. .Oh:t;lfeffc:dSp1~ns,Icannotnow:rhmke,tharyou wered1fpleas'dw1rhus,foryou~na~uredothfacontur wilhhiswill,tha~itcanno~beopJ1ofitetoit. ··BotycrGod~sarikJ'Y.;'yda,tothe've·ryapprdien• fjonofhisonelySon,What.elfemadehimcryoutfo .~rievoufly,MJGod,Whyhaftthouforfill<.enmetI GQd~sangrythenwithhisSon,forus;youhadm· '{onrhenofgriefforhim,notanger·towards·him:bin xcrforetofeehi~_angrywith.hisSon'andtofeehis 0.tJclySonfognevouflytormented,youcouldnot ,butbemov'd,whatrben.mull:moveyou?foreitcould )lenorhiilg,'but~or'finsforwhichhefofter.etJ..·
·oh.y,ouheav~nlySpirits•.lfind~yo~;~rejoycing,whi:a ,wehadourSa•1our~m,aridfureYOlJcouldnotb01:re· joyce,w~nr~ewot1<eofeurfaivlltionwasfinilhcd, jourjoywasllienlntermingkdwith·yo~.Vforrow, ifyoubecapableofforrow,foryou·'CloqldnoditJtfor· .i.ow;tofc:ey,ourGOa:fC?gricv<fuflytO;fufter;youcould IIOtbutrejoyce,tOfeethattheyODwhom)'OU;ttteD• ~ed,fhou!dbefohappy,thatbyhisdeaththeylhould
~ejld~itredtPinjoycrcrnalllife. 'l(>:i·ujoyatourrtp~urance,fureycwjouarQIJI
Morebitterthengrimdeathcouldfxo,. Myfin,myLordwasuntothee, BccaufeIfinn'dmyLorddiddye, ~ec:aufehedy'd,hatefinwiili.
