chapter  16
2 Pages

NEW KNOTS, 1983

Questions of autobiography and authorship: recounting one’s own history and professional practice. Reworking those accounts The question of political commitment, differing psychic, social and economic formations within which we are formed and struggle: the denial of a need to belong, to belong to something greater than a set of conflicting ideas or incoherence; the denial of the role of ‘the family’ (our families) in our unresolved needs; the problem of love

The problem of not wanting a god The problem of a dialogue with our families (social mobility,

change of language, change of concepts in the now, but still a reliving in and through the past)

The denial of continuing conflict between family members (removing ourselves from the battlefield does not end the war) (Death does not end the war)

The problem of christmas The question of being de-centred (that is having lost the idea of

a coherent and autonomous self); how are we constructed across and between discourses (what about the bits in between?); making new spaces

Being allowed to speak, allowing ourselves to speak; learning to act

The problem of being too articulate (frightening to others): of encouraging others to speak and act; impatience at the slowness of it all. Still not being able to speak for ourselves as there is no

coherent self; not wanting to speak for a movement; the problem of being theoretically correct

The problem of moving from over articulacy (honesty) back into silence. New anger. Decentring completed (is it ever?), fragmentation acknowledged; chaos of signification, crisis of representation; theory perfected (but always already out of date!)

The problem of silence; the playing out anew of unresolved and unconscious drives and desires onto new authority figures; pretending still to work collectively

The problem of knowing there is a problem but that nobody else will acknowledge there is a problem

The problem of the past (family breakdowns); desire for the lost (in) coherent family; the problem of being out of control in the present (destruction and rebellion within various discourses)

The problem of waiting to receive permission to stop work and to rest. Who do I ask? Will she listen?