ABSTRACT

For years, I struggled with my weight, often fluctuating between starvation and binge-eating. This was only one of many problems I faced. I also self-injured, abused alcohol, ruined relationships, and even attempted suicide a few times in my younger years. Often the way I felt after a binge would cause me to cut myself as a punishment for losing control. My therapists usually gave up on me. My family often only made things worse, having been a source of physical and emotional abuse since childhood. At some point, I began to understand that all of these destructive ways to cope stemmed from my inability to manage my emotions; this made sense given my traumatic history. I was just trying to feel better or different, or to numb these terrible feelings.