ABSTRACT
I was also aware that my views were the classic ones of every would-be despot who could not have his way and who was “misunderstood.” … we fought over everything…. Certainly my ego was involved …. Here was another bureaucrat being gored in the never ending internal political wars …. Maybe, indeed, I was somewhat paranoid on the subject …. An evening meeting [where] we were being “mau-maued” by neighborhood activists …. While I was waiting to answer the first, well-prepared “have you stopped beating your wife” question, I had the strong feeling that at that moment I hated everyone in the room, even those few who “understood.” At the same time, I knew that feeling to be unreasonable, that they were doing what they were supposed to do, that they were participating. I had been in situations like that a hundred times before, and though my adrenaline might have been going pretty well, I had not felt anger. Then why did I hate them? … Prone to exaggeration, I concluded that maybe I was becoming like a punch-drunk fighter, brain slightly addled, sitting in his corner. The bell had sounded and I came out and did my thing.
