ABSTRACT
In recent years, sociologists have pointed to many transformations in personal life. We have
heard quite a bit about the ‘‘questioning of tradition,’’ the ‘‘redefinition of gender,’’ the
‘‘reworking of relationships,’’ or the ‘‘transformation of intimacy’’ and so on. Some sociologists
have understood changes in private life in terms of an increase in ‘‘reflexivity’’ (see Giddens
1991, 1992; Beck and Beck-Gernsheim 1995; Swidler 2001; Weeks 1995; Weeks, Heaphy
and Donovan 2001). Generally speaking, reflexivity means that, in a time of change and
heightened social diversity, people no longer are able unconsciously to rely on traditions and
customs to determine how they live. Applied to intimacy and sexuality, people are thrown
back upon themselves to define their relationships and their identities within them. Crudely
put, we must make decisions for ourselves once ingrained institutions and traditions are
questioned, or once it becomes harder to say, ‘‘That’s just the way the world is.’’
