chapter  10
16 Pages

Using How College Men Feel about Being Men and “Doing the Right Thing” to Promote Men’s Development

ByAlan D. Berkowitz

There is a pervasive theme in the literature on college men: men are uncomfortable with the way that they have been taught to be men. This creates confl ict between how one wants to be and how one thinks one is supposed to be a man. Another theme is that men want to be accepted and appreciated by other men, to be seen as “normal” and as “one of the guys.” Men’s motivation to be accepted by other men results in many men not caring about women and tolerating other men’s abusive behavior towards men and women. In general, men-in all the diff erent identities that men have-want and try to be accepted as manly by other men. These issues about how to be a man refl ect a larger culture in which the masculine and feminine are out of balance, with dangerous consequences for each of us as individuals, and for the planet as a whole.