ABSTRACT
Our starting point, and the single most crucial principle in our work with children, is that you have to treat what they say seriously and convey that what they say is of importance. Now this may seem so obvious that you are considering skipping this chapter, but bear with us. Just cast your mind back to when you were a child. What did you do if you felt that people were not listening to you? Or what did you do as an adolescent when you felt slighted by those in authority? Did you try harder to make them understand or did you just feel more misunderstood? Imagine if you can, the adults in your childhood whom you felt most understood you or who conveyed that they respected your wishes. Imagine sitting with a stranger who began to convey that and now imagine sitting with a stranger who conveyed the opposite. Take a minute or so to do that. All the work that we do with children and adolescents, whatever techniques, tools, or tricks of the trade we employ has to be built upon this firm foundation of respect for whom they are, for what they want, and for what they have to say.
