C Keep your eye on the doughnut and not on the hole.1 As parents we often get caught up in what’s wrong with our child, his shortcomings or faults, especially if we have the same ones! We forget to focus on the beautiful, loving, playful qualities
our child has. Practice letting go of the problem you are having with your child by focusing on the joy he brings you. Th is is very diﬀ erent from trying to make yourself feel good or pretending you feel good when you don’t. You can acknowledge your worry about the problem and then choose to focus instead on the joy that your child brings you. Simply make the decision to start taking notice of the moments when your child brings you joy. Th ey don’t have to be big things. It can be the little curl of hair on his forehead, her sweet smile, the way he holds a ﬂ ower, the way she says “snissors” instead of scissors, how small and precious his feet and hands are, how she reaches for you, how he runs to you when you come home, how round her cheeks are, how lyrical his laugh, how curious she is, how hard he tries. Th e list is endless. Th ere is so much joy in parenting your child that you may not be focusing on. You may even want to keep a notebook to help make you be more aware of the joy that your child brings you.