When I came to live with my lesbian mate I felt a bit absurd about being gay and disabled… With her I was at ease of course, but I felt self-conscious about meeting other lesbians, I thought they’d see me as non-sexual, they’d think ‘how can she be gay like us’. When I was passing for heterosexual it didn’t occur to me to think I’d be regarded as non-sexual— I think this is because I saw heterosexual women as sexually passive anyway, whereas I see lesbians as equals. (Campling, 1981:86) Severely able-bodied lesbians look at us and go, ‘Urgh, what’s wrong with her?’ (McEwen and O’Sullivan, 1988:50)
Some disabled lesbians argue that the lesbian community has adopted many of the values and expectations of the heterosexual community. Kirsten Hearn writes ‘You only have to go to a disco to realize to what extent lesbians have bought the image of the slim, agile, symmetrical body’ (McEwen and O’Sullivan, 1988:50).